Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Randomize
