So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
