My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
