addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
