my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
