just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
