Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Randomize
