she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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