I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Randomize
