Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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