woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
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