alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
