So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
