How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
