i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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