I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Randomize
