I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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