If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
