Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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