making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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