nut hugger
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
