Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
