When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Sext me about skeletons
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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