At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
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