So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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