i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
