The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize
