As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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