I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
