Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
