If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
