you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
