Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
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