Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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