i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
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