Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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