i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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