it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
