Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
