Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
