doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
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