I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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