He is an equal opportunity slut.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
where are you?
Hypothermia
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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