I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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