Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
