So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
