I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
