I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
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