Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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