Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
