So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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