Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
